Sinful

It was a clear path to a blood diamond. A blood diamond that was worth millions in rebel territory. Was one red diamond worth the lives of thousands? She moved like a Goddess. How could this view be anything but sacred? My eyes followed as she leaned forward to adjust her boot. Enterprise had no plans in hiding her position. Instead, she was announcing her presence boldly into the zone of action. The Enterprise wasn't the fastest naval ship, she was old-fashioned, spared by a storm in the Pacific. She was far from perfect, yet she was the most decorated ship of World War II, she earned twenty battle stars. Unlike Enterprise, this one only got better with age. I was sure she never looked this good. Why? You fixin’ to take a ride? With one hand on the steering wheel, I used the other to lift my hat a bit and get a better look at her.

Before I could even process what she had said, her fingers found my leg and my pants tightened. The red diamond, Enterprise, was provoking a firefight and I found myself in a crisis. Her loyalty was questioned in war and tonight was already proving to be no different. The Enterprise was aiming to commit fratricide and I want to let her. I'd answer to God and the five on Judgement day but tonight I'll overdose on red pills and these fucking gorgeous southern lips I want wrapped around my cock. I've never seen more beautiful lips. They were so fucking big. I wonder what they felt like, what they taste like. I believed myself a righteous man, even righteous men yield to lust, in fact, wars have been started because of this.

She was making eyes with me, she wanted to take control, and I'd let her believe she had it. My eyes fell back on the road, which only lasted a short moment before I shook my head with a smile and brought my gaze back to her. I think I'm owed restitution. I answered her early question about a promise. She did promise. My eyes were locked on the insanity that was her thighs. Don't stop, I thought as her hands moved further in, eyes back on the road. You're going to make me pull over. I ripped my eyes off the road and turned my head to face her, shifting my gaze up from her thighs to her lips. You want to ride it now? I laughed, my tongue wagged out before I turned back to the safe less appealing view, but the smile remained. The neon lights of the country club flashed and the demons I'd been fighting were exposed.

We made it to the finish line. I wasn't sure how, but we arrived at the country club slash line bar, which to her defense, was called 'The Line'. The bar bordered between Haven and Solitude, neutral ground, I guess we had really made it to the safe zone. I backed up into a parking spot way at the back, the place was packed. I kept the engine on and laid back, turning my head to face her. You gonna' dance for me? I shot her a toothy grin, I couldn't fucking help it.

Can you feel it? The fire.

We’d been in our share of firefights. But they’d never been like this. I couldn’t help but feel like we’d skipped a few chapters… We’d gone from strappin’ up to strippin’ down. All is fair in lust and war baby. Maybe that was why I couldn’t look at him without seein’ somethin’ to be won. If I had my druthers, we’d already be playin’ the game. That’s why I’d gone and made the first move. I’d be waitin’ ‘til the cows came home on a marine to get a damn thing done outside orders and U.S. borders. He may have set his sights on me baby but that trigger aint get pulled until the MOA ‘just right. The further the distance, the less the accuracy. Now why the hell else ‘you think I had to scoot closer? Laissez les bon temps rouler.

I had to wonder if I was truly a child of God, because when it came to Stein and Lemaire the devil was in the details. I could admit I was glossin’ over ‘em. Pretendin’ that devil wasn’t there at all, pretendin’ our past had no bearin’ on the present… In fact I’d gotten good at the practice, baby. It had become so standard it’d grown into more of a personality trait than a skill. I was good at pretendin’. Livin’ in fantasy so often it had started to paint me in them very same salacious colors. I’ll be your fantasy, baby. I smiled as I bit my lip. Damn, if this ‘what it feels like with your eyes on me, I can’t wait to see what your hands can do.

You’re going to make me pull over. Do it. My hand tugged at his waistband before gently snaking up his chest. I could feel him driving faster. You want to ride it now? You’ve no idea. Faster still, but it still wasn’t fast enough. Go crazy. Once my hand found his jaw my grip tightened. How ‘you want payment baby? I whispered in his ear before biting at his earlobe. I really was possessed. Someone call the priest! Heavenly father, deliver me from temptation. My body was grindin’ against his to the music like I was in trainin’ for the ride of my life. As my lips planted a trail of kisses along his jaw, making my their to his own, my hand slithered back down, just barely slippin’ down his pants when the truck came to a halt.

The timin’ couldn’t have been better. It was like I hadn’t any control over my body. I was fixin’ t’hop on him while he drove and ride him right there on the damn interstate. I froze, my finger still tucked beneath the fabric of his pants, my lips still an inch from his skin, and I smiled before pulling my hand out. I licked his face before giving his cheek a gentle smack then moved over for the door handle. If I don’t break my damn leg climbin’ down this mountain without a rope ‘n harness then you just might get what you came here for baby. Then maybe I’d get what I came here for.

I pushed open the door and hopped down, grabbin’ my jacket on the way. I started putin’ it on as I began the journey to the front door. Now why the hell ‘he gone and parked out in the damn boonies? I pulled my hair out ‘my jacket just a few steps short of the entrance, and stood there while I waited for him to open the door. That’s when it swung open and a loud group of people, maybe seven passed by. The last gentleman held the door for me and I gave Stein a look before entering. Thanks sugar. I smiled sweetly at the gentleman as I began slipping my jacket back off, grinnin’ wider than a cheshire cat as the music and stompin’ boots from the line rattled the floors.

I spun around, smilin’ at my partner in crime as I tossed my jacket onto a nearby chair, walkin’ backwards in the direction of the bar through the red hued lights and smoky haze. The music already had a grip on my boots, my legs, my hips. The dance we shared in the pickup was just a warmup, and The Line was the openin’ act. The main event would come later baby, for now I needed both of us liquored up before my senses decided they was comin’ home from vacation early.

Terry! I hollered, one knee propped on a stool as my entire torso leaned over the bar, the position of my hind end wasn’t even strategic, no lie. Terry baby! I hollered down the bar again, already gettin’ madder than a wet hen at his reaction time. All these damn Texans got me speakin’ like a cast member of Army Wives. Indie! Damn woman- Look at you. Fixin’ t’break some hearts tonight aint ya’? He leaned back, givin’ me the ol’ up ‘n down from the other side of the bar. He flicked’ his cowboy hat as his eyes narrowed beneath a heavy brow, and he pursed his lips, blowin’ hot whiskey air in my direction, and bitin’ his lip after like he had half the mind to offer his own heart as tribute. Just one. I smiled, glancin’ over to Stein- and Terry went from lookin’ up and down, to lookin’ left to right and back again. Double double patron- I reached over the bar to snatch his hat right off his head and slowly planted it on mine as I looked back at Stein. Better add a couple whiskey, neat. I spoke to Terry but my eyes were on the marine. My elbow propped on the bar and hand propped up my head again. You think you can handle all that baby? I asked, refusin’ to break eye contact.

Douma District, Syrian Desert
June 2017

Looks like you got yourself a new spotter, Sergeant. Corporal Rogiers was killed in action a few days prior and as further punishment command gifted me a female spotter. If they wanted me dead there were more clever ways to do it. This wasn't right. I could go be a little bitch about it and tell them how I felt, but that would only cause more problems for me down the line. What the fuck was I going to tell them? I'm uncomfortable, I don't trust her, I don't want her...It may be shits and giggles on base, but out there where we're getting shot at, it's the real deal. I wouldn't be responsible for her life. I wouldn't feel bad if she got herself killed for trying to fix her makeup during a fucking firefight. It was wrong that she was in a combat zone in the first place. What the fuck am I supposed to do, not if, but when she gets her fucking period? You alright, Sergeant? The white wolf asked, I snapped back to reality, and nodded my head. Aye, aye, Master Guns. I acknowledged, fuck answer his question. I'm goo- But he cut me off. Corporal Lemaire's life is in your hands now. What the fuck? I kept a straight face. She was my fucking spotter, weren't we both in each other's hands, just fuck me, right? She's good, you'll see...

You'll see...

---

PRESENT

Even in the dead of night, she stood out like a blood moon, a sign of the beginning of end times. She was a red diamond in the rough, an American beauty...How had I never noticed it before tonight? My eyes had done me a disservice and we were long past the product expiration window. Time was something I couldn't buy back, so tonight I was hoping for a good time. A chance to take back my losses. My thoughts went to wondering what her naked body looked like and my dick grew in size. Syria...We were never there. It didn't exist. Who was driving? When her grip tightened at my jaw, and her hand continued downwards, he just grew bigger. I about lost my fucking mind when she whispered to me and bit my ear, Fuck. I muttered -You. I answered straight. A delayed response to her question about payment, yet there was nothing I could have wanted more.

What the hell was wrong with me? It was like I had been waiting my whole life to find out what those lips felt like on my skin. As if I was in a fucking rainstorm after witnessing a sandstorm. And I've been in plenty of sandstorms in my life, with her by my side, why had it never crossed my mind? Why did she look so fucking good? Fuck, I'm happy to see you... I shut my eyes as her lips left their mark along my jaw. Whose fucking driving? Her hand lightly grazed my cock on her way down and I shut my eyes again. Fuck, keep going, what are you doing? I felt her tongue run down my face and it got me wondering what else that tongue do...

I hopped out of the truck, wishing I'd parked closer because it was hard to walk in the current conditions, and I'm not talking about the weather. I followed her like a lost puppy without a willful owner in sight. Tonight she fucking owned me, who the fuck gave her permission to come out looking like that? As we made our way to the line, she caught the eye of many, she had men hollering and honking to get her attention. She was bad. She looked at me before entering, the devil in disguise, only The Line must have been paradise if she was inside. As soon as I entered I immediately felt out of place, everyone was dressed as if it was a fucking hoe-down, which was expected but still took me by surprise. Neutral grounds was this weird country limbo and the only thing that made it bearable was her. Growing up I was a fan of country music thanks to my grandpa, but I never went to one of these places.

I glared at the dancefloor, what the fuck did they need a fog machine for? I followed her to the bar, my eye on one thing and one thing alone, god damn...I really was in paradise and it had been there all along. There it was. The fucking moon. Flashing before me brighter than ever despite being blood red. I cocked my head to the side as if to study it. I'd fucking kill for you, I thought. At first, I stood a few meters back, my eyes still centered on the target as she interacted with the cowboy fuck at the other side of the bar. Her alluring brown eyes stared back at me from underneath that cowboy hat, Handle that? I arched a brow, sliding a hand down her back and stopping just above her ass. You forgot you're talking to a marine, huh? I grinned down at her, the cowboy hat looked so fucking sexy on her. But if there's one thing a marine knew how to do, it was drink...Even if he couldn't shoot, sure as hell, he could drink.

The bar was filling up quickly and for a second I forgot where I was, I was excited, genuinely. Where have you been hiding? I bent my head down, yelling into her ear in order to compete with the stompin' and the music. How does it feel to be the most beautiful woman at the bar? I tilted the hat atop her head as If to get a better look at her, when the bartender returned with the goods. Y'all keepin' 'er open or closed? He asked with a thick southern accent to match the ambiance, straight outta' a redneck hoe-down. Huh? I responded even though I knew what he meant, my words weren't catching up fast enough, and my eyes remained unmoving from her. The tab! He shouted towards my bad ear. Whatever the lady wants... I yelled back, still on her like if she'd been my target all these years, I passed the guy my Amex, then brought my hand back to her waist. I couldn't keep my hands off her, but I was still being cautious, and respectful.

There goes that shot of Patron. So tell me what to do, I'm yours. At least for tonight.

Oh I knew exactly how much a marine could drink. Trust me, it was like pumpin’ ‘em full’a gasoline the way it got ‘em riled and revved up. But it wasn’t so much a question about the liquor baby, as it was about how much of me the cowboy could handle. He almost got me with that little maneuver too. If I hadn’t caught the inside of my lip between my teeth I could’ve moaned right then and there. Like a damn cat in heat, the closer he got to the tail the higher I felt compelled to raise my rear end. How could I forget. I echoed his own words back at him as sweetly as I could, and paired it with a smile even sweeter still.

Who said I was hidin’? I asked, but didn’t care much for the answer. A little bit of everywhere. Spent some time in Mississippi with Garzas family. I didn’t like talkin’ about her much. I didn’t like talkin’ about anybody that didn’t come back. And even less about the ones that did but decided they’d rather spend the rest a’their time with God. Stop thinkin’ about this Indie, focus on how fine this man is. I could feel all that work I’d spent buildin’ this up gettin’ buried in the sands of time. Or maybe it was another type of sand. I didn’t much care to think of either. But I got a callin’ from God. He said go North, and here I am. I guess you could say I’m a missionary. I smirked as I placed my hand on his knee so I could lean in closer. Do you like missionary, sugar? I grinned again, bitin’ my lip to keep from laughin’. I’ll have you callin’ for God later.

I leaned in even closer. How does it feel to be with the most beautiful woman at the bar? I asked before gently grazing my lips over his. Damn, this marine had me thirsty as hell. If I didn’t know any better I’d think he was nothin’ but a mirage, and I’d been alone in the desert for thirty days and thirty nights like our lord and savior Jesus Christ. I was positively parched. The interruption couldn’t have come at a more inconvenient time. But I couldn’t stay mad at Terry. He was the only northerner I’d met this far that could make Jambalaya without it gettin’ all mushy. And he wasn’t afraid to add the heat either. I guess him and I had that in common.

I pulled back, adjustin’ my straps while the two a’them went back and forth about the damn tab. Now can’t these damn boys talk about this some other time? I masked my irritation with another sweet smile. Now Terry, when have you ever known me to close the tab after my first order? I adjusted his hat on my head, but for some reason I done’ caught this boy sizin’ up the marine. Now tell me this man aint jealous. Open baby. Always leave it wide open. I fluttered my eyelashes at him then reached for my first shot.

You ready to shoot your shot baby? I smiled again as my eyebrow flicked upward. If you ask me he had far too many clothes on. Satan in a sunday hat. Oh he had to be. He couldn’t be delicious without also bein’ sinful. Just look at those eyes. Lord have mercy on my soul.

I held my shot up between us. Now what are we shootin’ for? I asked. Waitin’ for the toast so we could get toasted, and then dot, dot, dot…

I'm going to make sure you make it back home...

Many years ago, I had been gifted an owner's manual, but I tossed it aside, convinced I'd never have any use for it. I was so fucking wrong. How could I forget? Both our words lingered at the tip of the tongue. Why did I forget? It's like I was watching her in slow-motion. Studying every single piece of her, how fucking amazing, how fucking gorgeous. How the fuck could I forget? Time wasn't speeding up. It was like God wanted me to look this time. God wanted me to remember. The softness in her voice flowed like the inside of a river bend, nice and slow. Her eyes, mine, were the channel of the waterway, deep and dark. I liked the way her feline eyes looked up into mine. I liked it even better in its postponed existence, where I could really stop and look. I'd follow her into a hostile district, again and again, any fucking day, even in slow motion.

You two must become one. You are reason and the eyes. Hancock points to India. You are vengeance and the heart. And now he looks at me. Out there, you are one... Don't ever forget that and you'll survive. Neither one of us would succeed without the other, we could not live without the other. She was reason and I vengeance. She was our eyes, and I was our heart. If there was one good lesson we learned from Hancock it was on the day we received our first mission. Now dragged into this delayed reality, I began to remember. Operation Red Dawn. Two scout snipers took on a torn-apart city. She the eyes, and I, the heart. How could I forget? I guess I couldn't see without my eyes...

I wasn't going to lose you too, I'm not losing you...

The devil had its lasso around my neck and its steel-toed boots pressed against my cheek as I fell to the ground. The path to the five was clear, I would only have to follow her lead and she'd communicate the way as she did all those years ago. The military often promised 'tangible benefits', was it finally time to receive mine? Or had I received it years ago, but cast it away? Why had I never seen you before tonight? It was as if I had been observing her from a high-rise for all those years, watching her from a safe distance, as the reflection of a man she used to know stared back at me. She was reason, and I, heart.

No matter what I did, what changes I made, I still couldn't save them...

---

Everything, except her, was louder than it needed to be. I couldn't remember who Garza was or if it was even someone I knew. I had lost a lot in combat, both in Afghan and Syria. I tried not to recall names after my first tour. The military didn't exactly do these things to you, it was war in its unrelenting grip. You tried not to make plans for the future while you were in desert territory. If you survived, those you made plans with were left behind, forever lost in the war. Home would always feel so far away, even for those who returned home. Maybe God sent you here to collect. I smirked, my hand gripping her arm as she leaned in closer to me. Depends. I looked the other way to hide how big my smile had gotten. What kind of missionary are we talking? I paused, bringing my gaze back to her fucking million-dollar smile. Mixed? I couldn't suppress the laugh. I like reverse cowgirl. I said boldly, playfully tugging the cowboy hat she had on downwards.

I couldn't stop fucking smiling. Her lips grazed mine and her smell reeled me in, the red diamond was labeled lethal depending upon the dose. Still close wasn't close enough. I brought a hand to her face, rubbing a thumb across her bottom lip, my eyes on one thing, those fucking beautiful lips. I've always been the luckiest guy in the world. Every time I looked into the waterway, things slowed down. I didn't even look at the southern fuck as she spoke to him, my eyes were grounded on her as if she was the only target within a two-mile radius. Not even a haystack in sight. Now what are we shootin’ for? She questioned, and for once, the answer came to me immediately. Something we should have done a long time ago. My glass met hers and I kicked it back.

Maybe it wasn't the devil that had his lasso around my neck. Maybe it was India and the ground was the moon. She could do whatever she wanted with me, I'd let her. You going to be mine tonight? I spoke loudly over the music. I didn't want to wait for an answer. I wanted to fuck the shit out of her right here in front of Terry the Southern Fag Berry. I don't know how long I could last here without being downright disrespectful to everyone the fuck else. My hands went up the length of her smooth thighs, desperately wanting to know what in between them felt like, tasted like.